the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
