You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
