The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize