you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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