There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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