ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
