My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
