she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think your dad took our porno
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
