a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
babies were throwing up all over the place
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
