My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
