so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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