is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
