i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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