He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
