You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
