Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
