I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
