I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
