sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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