Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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