I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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