you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
