4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
