i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
