Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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