Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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