she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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