why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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