I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
