took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
