I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
