Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
