Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
