have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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