Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
