i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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