I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
