Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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