Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
