so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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