just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
