In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
People in love make me want to vomit
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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