the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
