i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
