I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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