I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
