so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
