I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
its not stalking. its research.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
