i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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