Please, let me fuck your mom
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
