He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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