wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
