So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
