omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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