i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
