You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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