There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
