Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
