This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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