So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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