is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
