your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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