Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
