I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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